Racing Thoughts

On a wintry walk in the snow my thoughts race each other to my heart.

Questions and answers fly by as my heavy boots try to land lightly enough not to slip.

What makes a Christmas tree "real" anyway?

The answer comes quickly, cutting off the question and taking the lead.

The beloved hand-made and gifted ornaments that decorate it.

I'm so glad the answer is winning and I cheer and clap!

Another question is on the heels of the answer.

How can Christmas seem real without fireplace smoke and the old family home?

This thought is determined to pass the answer on the inside, rounding the curve expertly with a beam on my heart.

When suddenly, from out of no where, another question in fierce and passionate pursuit.

What makes a home "real"?

Oh, now the race is on!

The winner takes all!

The answer is tired.

I watch in awe from the sidelines of my racing thoughts.

I begin to cheer for the answer.

I scream from the goal line.

With the true grit of sheer determination the answer wins by a hair!

The beloved hand-made and gifted ornament of love that decorates it.

Even my heart is smiling

as my thoughts lay breathless and still.

We wish you a Merry Christmas, Kayla and Daniel!

My heart took a picture when we facetimed these four cuties, but unfortunately my ipad didn't.

Lot's of cuteness sitting here!

Love decorates our home at Christmas time and all the time!

It's Official!

Today is, September 4, 2013, and it is a beautiful sunny late summer day.  A soft breeze is rustling through the drying leaves of the maple trees in my yard.  I have a light and very happy heart beating a bit more excitedly in my chest, and a smile that feels so effortless.  I could weep with joy if I allowed myself to.  I could go for a walk right now and I might not even notice the pavement under my feet...it might feel more like air.  

I hugged a man today, just a few minutes ago to be exact, a young man with a handsome smile and a big plan.  Today, on this perfectly gorgeous day, with an even more gorgeous diamond ring riding in the passenger seat next to him, he'll drive 2 1/2 hours in his pickup truck.  He'll probably be thinking about his future and maybe a little bit about his past, while country music plays on the radio.  I hope he prays for a minute or two, thanking the Lord for the priceless and precious gift of a woman's love.  

At his journey's end a one-in-a-million-trillion kind of young lady will open her fingers to his ring and his heart, and hold them both forever.  God, you are the creator of the most beautiful things!

I know I'm a hopeless romantic, but I had to include this picture.

Love Never Fails

Jerry and I attended a Gotcha Party on Thursday evening.  It was hosted by our niece, Jackie and her husband, Todd, in honor of their foster sons, Caden and Liam.  We gathered in their backyard with family and friends  to celebrate the amazing relationship that began one year ago when they agreed to be foster parents.  The party was complete with presents, ice-cream, cupcakes, and happy smiles everywhere!

Love was most certainly in the air and flowing freely between two precious little boys and all those who have come to know them.  What an amazing thing...love.  Love answered the question of trust that these little foster kids had when they first arrived.  Love answered all the "how-to's" that their foster parents must have had.  Love is God's world, and when we walk in it we can't anticipate or expect pain free lives.  The inevitable future separation from their foster children will be extremely painful for Todd and Jackie, but they're living in God's world, not their own.  His love brought them into it and His love will bring them through it.

Small Town U.S.A.

I grew up in a small town and I still love the feelings I get whenever I visit one.  I feel comfortable, grounded, relaxed, contented...I feel home.  Last night was that kind of an experience.

My nephew, Ryan, lives near the tiny town of Banfield, Michigan, and is a frequent patron of the Banfield General Store; buying everything from his daily morning coffee to Christmas gifts for loved ones.  Last night Banfield was treated to a free concert, featuring Ryan, on the front porch of the store.  

Ryan's singing and strumming floated on the country air like a beautiful breeze as we joined the other folks that had gathered to hear him play.  I knew I was going to thoroughly enjoy this evening and I could see from the faces on the porch that I wouldn't be the only one.  As we unfolded our lawn chairs and Ryan paused between songs, a neighbor hollered something from next door and I worried for a moment that it might be a complaint about the noise.   I shouldn't have worried, the neighbor was simply yelling a request for a Gordon Lightfoot song.  

The pizza and ice cream continued to flow from the store to the porch all evening delivered by Larry, the store owner himself, dressed like a 'soda-jerk' right out of the  Happy Days television series.

Yes, the patrons are seated in church pews, either bought or borrowed (we heard both explanations) by Larry, from the large historical church across the street.  I noticed how the white, wooden church stood like a fortress over all of us and I wanted so badly, in that moment, for Ryan to break out in a chorus of, What a Friend We Have In Jesus.  But it was nearing the end of his concert and Larry, seated at one of the outdoor booths, had requested something from Gordon Lightfoot.  Ryan asked if he was with that neighbor guy.  "No," Larry said, "but he called."  Ryan began to tune his guitar for the song, commenting that the neighbor wasn't even a paying customer.  "I'm going to bill him," Larry joked as Ryan's version of the familiar Lighftoot tune, Carefree Highway, rose above the laughter.  Afterward, a hoot and a holler from the trees next door signaled the approval of the "guy from the cheap seats", as Ryan referred to him.  The simple pleasures of small towns...I love them!

Ryan and his niece and mine, Sierra.  The crowd loved her!

This is the church, I don't know why it's black and white and blurry...kind of like the memories it provoked.

Larry, Ryan's son Kaleb, and Ryan..  

Friends

My dear friend, Colleen, and I made plans last week to have lunch together at my house today. I made banana bread and chicken salad with cantaloupe and green grapes. We drank hot green tea from my pretty tea cups and talked about the Easter service at church, our new pastor, our husbands, our kids, grandkids and our former lives (the young and foolish years).

We were on our third teacup re-fill when her phone rang. Her twenty-year-old son called from work to tell her his flu virus was worse today and he was having trouble breathing. The extra slice of banana bread I had just cut sat untouched as she began devising a plan to meet him at the emergency room of Zeeland Hospital. "Who will drive you?" "Shall I call your doctor?" I heard her ask him as the serenity of the afternoon flowed into chaos. She asked me how to get to the hospital, as I retrieved her coat. "Just follow me," I told her, and in a second we were a couple of little cars merging with noisy traffic, her mimicking my every lane change until we entered the parking lot of our destination. We quickly exchanged goodbyes through the opened window of our cars and she promised to give me an update later.

This is what I saw when I walked back into my home. It struck me how quickly the entire momentum of our time together changed with that one phone call.

It is so quiet now. No more laughter. No more heart to heart feelings going back and forth, creating small smiles and teary eyes of understanding. But on my kitchen window sill, a card that Colleen brought with her today explains everything, and I pick it up and re-read it.

Yup...that's it, and that's what I'll miss until the next time.

Easter

Yesterday we celebrated Easter; Jerry, me, Kody, Jack, Jack Jr., Sharlet,Tom, and Cindy.  Kayla, Daniel, Bright, Zion, Brave, and Jubilee were missing from our table but not from our hearts. Celebrating a holiday always extenuates the fact that six members of our family live on the other side of the globe.

Jerry and I went to church.  We listened to our new Pastor speak about faith and the fact that having doubt is part of having faith, it wouldn't be faith otherwise.  "Invite Jesus into your questions and work through the doubt together," he suggested.  I know this is true, it's actually how I became a believer in Christ thirty some years ago; I opened my heart just a tiny little crack and He did all the convincing after that!  After church we finished  preparing a very tasty ham dinner with orange-glazed sweet potatoes, and mashed potatoes and gravy.  Cindy brought a salad tossed with strawberries, blackberries and spring greens and I made two banana cream pies....delicious.

After Jack and Sharlet arrived they sat at the coffee table decorating bunny-shaped cookies while Jack Sr., on his hands and knees, wiped the floor where three frosted cookies had landed face down in the first three minutes.  He wondered aloud why I had planned such an activity just before dinner.  Too busy pouring gravy from a roasting pan to answer him, I just smiled, grateful for his compulsive neatness.

After dinner Jack and JJ went downstairs to watch the basketball playoffs.  JJ yelled the score through the rafters every few minutes and Grandpa soon joined them.  Cindy and I cleaned the kitchen while  Tom and Kody, still sitting at the now empty table, discussed something they both seemed very interested in.  Jack left first, to make a timely delivery of his kids to their mother as Kody packed for a couple of days of 'trucking' and left soon afterwards. Tom and Cindy were not far behind him and  Jerry and I took a relaxing walk together. That was it...a fun day.


This is the face of the little girl we missed and yes, this moment was captured quite a few years ago, but I still love it. It's a picture of a picture, I apologize for the fuzziness.

This is the family we missed.

Here are all of our grandkids together last summer.

And these are the remnants of the bunny cookies. Cute, huh?