Friends

My dear friend, Colleen, and I made plans last week to have lunch together at my house today. I made banana bread and chicken salad with cantaloupe and green grapes. We drank hot green tea from my pretty tea cups and talked about the Easter service at church, our new pastor, our husbands, our kids, grandkids and our former lives (the young and foolish years).

We were on our third teacup re-fill when her phone rang. Her twenty-year-old son called from work to tell her his flu virus was worse today and he was having trouble breathing. The extra slice of banana bread I had just cut sat untouched as she began devising a plan to meet him at the emergency room of Zeeland Hospital. "Who will drive you?" "Shall I call your doctor?" I heard her ask him as the serenity of the afternoon flowed into chaos. She asked me how to get to the hospital, as I retrieved her coat. "Just follow me," I told her, and in a second we were a couple of little cars merging with noisy traffic, her mimicking my every lane change until we entered the parking lot of our destination. We quickly exchanged goodbyes through the opened window of our cars and she promised to give me an update later.

This is what I saw when I walked back into my home. It struck me how quickly the entire momentum of our time together changed with that one phone call.

It is so quiet now. No more laughter. No more heart to heart feelings going back and forth, creating small smiles and teary eyes of understanding. But on my kitchen window sill, a card that Colleen brought with her today explains everything, and I pick it up and re-read it.

Yup...that's it, and that's what I'll miss until the next time.

Easter

Yesterday we celebrated Easter; Jerry, me, Kody, Jack, Jack Jr., Sharlet,Tom, and Cindy.  Kayla, Daniel, Bright, Zion, Brave, and Jubilee were missing from our table but not from our hearts. Celebrating a holiday always extenuates the fact that six members of our family live on the other side of the globe.

Jerry and I went to church.  We listened to our new Pastor speak about faith and the fact that having doubt is part of having faith, it wouldn't be faith otherwise.  "Invite Jesus into your questions and work through the doubt together," he suggested.  I know this is true, it's actually how I became a believer in Christ thirty some years ago; I opened my heart just a tiny little crack and He did all the convincing after that!  After church we finished  preparing a very tasty ham dinner with orange-glazed sweet potatoes, and mashed potatoes and gravy.  Cindy brought a salad tossed with strawberries, blackberries and spring greens and I made two banana cream pies....delicious.

After Jack and Sharlet arrived they sat at the coffee table decorating bunny-shaped cookies while Jack Sr., on his hands and knees, wiped the floor where three frosted cookies had landed face down in the first three minutes.  He wondered aloud why I had planned such an activity just before dinner.  Too busy pouring gravy from a roasting pan to answer him, I just smiled, grateful for his compulsive neatness.

After dinner Jack and JJ went downstairs to watch the basketball playoffs.  JJ yelled the score through the rafters every few minutes and Grandpa soon joined them.  Cindy and I cleaned the kitchen while  Tom and Kody, still sitting at the now empty table, discussed something they both seemed very interested in.  Jack left first, to make a timely delivery of his kids to their mother as Kody packed for a couple of days of 'trucking' and left soon afterwards. Tom and Cindy were not far behind him and  Jerry and I took a relaxing walk together. That was it...a fun day.


This is the face of the little girl we missed and yes, this moment was captured quite a few years ago, but I still love it. It's a picture of a picture, I apologize for the fuzziness.

This is the family we missed.

Here are all of our grandkids together last summer.

And these are the remnants of the bunny cookies. Cute, huh?

Christmas 2011

This video was taken at our family Christmas party, hosted by Adam and Melanie, where we had a wonderful time enjoying fabulous food, very fun music...

and love...it's the love that brings us all together, as you'll see from the following video.

We tease each other and laugh a lot, but we are one of those I'll be there whenever I can because I love you kind of families.

Love created things at Christmas time too, like ornaments.

It took us on a lengthy car ride to Great-grandma's house, on one of Jack's vacation days from school.  Grandma played Caroles for us on her keyboard.

Love brought us together, on a very cold day, for a trip to the Christmas tree farm.

Love gathered the six of us together at 5 o'clock on Christmas Eve for a turkey dinner and pumpkin pie, immediately followed by gift-opening, which was immediately followed by Uncle Kody asking, "Is it really only 6:30?"  We miss you so much, Kayla!

And finally...love and good humor supplied Aunt Sandy with THE perfect gift for our brother this year!

Love IS CHRIST...mas!

My Hero!

"Who were your heroes, Grandma, when you were little?"  Jack asked, as he sat at the kitchen counter drawing pictures of super-heroes.  "Cowboys,"  I said, "Stoney Burke, The Rifleman, Little Joe from Bonanza, my heroes were all TV cowboys."  He proceeded to draw this picture for me, which I treasure.

Today, I have only one hero and he doesn't look anything like this picture.  He's brave; having once stood in the face of grave consequences to proclaim his love for me (kind of a long story).  He's strong (beating back the demons of addiction in defense of our marriage and family) and just like the cowboys in white hats on television a long time ago, he's one of the good guys.  Here he is in the warming house at Boyne Mountain on our skiing Honeymoon.  Notice the glasses?  They're safety glasses...his originals were destroyed in a fire on our wedding night.

This is me on the same day riding a ski-lift.

Our journey, which began thirty three years ago today, has been downright rocky at times but I have always known he is the one and only guy for me.  He is always telling our sons, "Try to find a woman like your mother."  I have a little more advice for you guys; when you do find the right one, be the kind of man your dad is, and love her heroically. 

Happy Anniversary, Jerry!

                                    Kody, Jack, Sharlet, Jack Jr. and Jerry on the Christmas Tree Farm wagon last weekend.



Then and Now

We are waiting for a baby today.  We have been talking about our little grandaughter for months.  I have knitted for her and we have prayed for her.  We have a snapshot of her on our wall and a special place just for her in our hearts.  Our daughter has anxiously prepared for her arrival by reading book after book on the subject of adoption.  She has been homeschooling her three little boys with a vengence for the last couple of weeks, hoping to create extra mother/daughter bonding time when she arrives.  Daddy painted her room twice to achieve the perfect shade of pink. 

Since I started this blog post (I can't imagine why I didn't finish it) our little grandaughter, Jubilee Sue Rupp has nestled deep into her family of Mom, Dad and brothers.  We have spoken to her on Skype and stared admiringly into her beautiful photographs, but she has remained too far away for us to hold, other than in our hearts. That is about to change!  In just a few weeks we will have our arms around her!  Our Christmas will last until then as we anticipate the best gifts of all this year; a reunion with our daughter, son-in-law, and our precious little grandsons and the one all wrapped up in pink...JUBILEE!  We can't wait!

Miracles

Thankfulness always precedes the miracle, is a quote from a favorite book of mine and it is so true.  One thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp, has taught me to look for miracles and treasures in everyday life. 

The Miracle on 34th Street is what we lovingly called our family home at 44 West 34th St., in Holland, Michigan.  We moved to Holland in November of 1986 and Christmas was just around the corner, so it seemed like a perfect name.  Life was very busy then; too busy it seemed to look for miracles.  Many of them live on though, and with a very thankful heart I am able to see them now.  The love of my husband is one, both then and now, but the way it is so beautifully wrapped up in  much, much deeper feelings now is a miraculous gift to me. 

I am so thankful for the little children that I was blessed to raise, and how I have only to look into their adult faces for just a little longer than usual... and there they are, in 1986!

On the First Christmas a very blessed mother treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19).  Thank you Lord for this ability to treasure things in our hearts, so we can miraculously re-open them and re-live them later.   Please give assurance to all the hearts that are holding their treasures today with terrible pain and loneliness.  May they be assured that through faith in you, you are with them, so they can't be that far away from those that live with you.  THANK YOU, Jesus, this is the greatest miracle of all!

Teaching Honesty

I have a confession to make; I like to control outcomes.  This morning my devotional read, So keep your focus on the path just before you, leaving outcomes up to Me.  That's it, I thought, that's what I was trying to do last week.  Let me explain.

 I found Sharlet struggling with her backpack when I arrived to pick her up from preschool on Thursday. Trying in vain to put it on over an unzipped and oversized winter coat, she smiled as I rushed to her side hoping to ease her frustration.  "The monkey Sharlet brought to school today is in her backpack,"  explained her teacher, Miss Lise, as we waited  for our turn to exit through the crowded doorway.  I must have looked perplexed because she asked, "It is her monkey isn't it?"    Miss Lise began handing out notes and artwork to other parents and grandparents as I gently turned Sharlet around to unzip her backpack.  I caught Miss Lise's eye again and shook my head, no. Holding the kidnapped monkey out to her I whispered, "Just sneak it back in inside she won't....", but before I could finish explaining my plan Miss Lise broke in, "Oh, no!  I'm going to teach her."  Of course she is, she's a teacher and teachable moments like these are why Sharlet is here; to learn.  I felt ashamed of my desire to take the easy road, to send the monkey back to preschool on the path of least resistance.  Teach her; now there's a revolutionary idea, I thought, sarcasticly heaping a little more shame upon myself.  Miss Lise stooped down to Sharlet's eye-level, and with the coveted monkey in her arms she asked Sharlet again if it belonged to her.  Sharlet began to cry and shook her head, no.  After a brief explanation of why the furry friend could not accompany us, Miss Lise stood up and waved the monkey's arm in a goodbye gesture.  Sharlet took my hand and with tears still flowing, we strode slowly and solemnly to the car. 

I began to do a personal inventory (as we say in the Alanon program) on our drive home that morning.  I asked myself several questions that I didn't have answers to, until now.  Sharlet and I were good students that day.  She learned that deceit will not bring reward, and I learned that trying to control the outcome of a situation can distract me from having a real, God-given positive affect on it.  Thank you, Miss Lise 

Sharlet and Miss Lise