Flashback to 1979

 "Did we really let our kids play around smoldering fires with a hacksaw?" my sister, Sandy and I remarked after recalling this picture. I guess we did, because here they are "up north" at Grandma and Grandpa's place in the woods.  That's my son, Kody, on the right and Sandy's son, Adam, on the left.  And that's Nate, her middle son, with the hacksaw.

Sandy and I are certain that we were watching them from afar, probably relaxing somewhere, maybe at the picnic table.  We could relax because "the woods" was such a perfect playground.   We didn't have to worry about them breaking anything, getting too noisy, or leaving any doors open.  They could get as dirty and as loud as they wanted to and no one even noticed.  Were we just a little bit too relaxed?  Hmmm....maybe so, but we both really like this picture!

New Year Memories

2011 began with Jerry's birthday on the fourth.  It was our week with JJ and Sharlet, so with Jack working out of town and Kody doing evening chores, just the four of us celebrated with a speghetti dinner and chocolate pie.

This weekend the sun came out in all it's glory and as is so customary here along the lakeshore in January, so did a lot of people.  Jerry and I chose to make a video for Bright, Zion, and Brave.  We are sure our neighbors are still talking about why in the world the couple on the corner were pulling two stuffed animal puppets on a sled through the snow in their backyard, but our little grandsons have been wanting to see the snow.  We had a lot of fun showing it to them, too!  Then we drove to the Dunes State Park and walked through the woods to the beach.  It was sunny, cold, and just beautiful!

Today we went for a walk on eighth street in downtown Holland to see the ice sculptures, they were amazing!

Winter weekends in Michigan really don't get any better than this one has been.  Let it snow!

Christmas Memories

I took some Christmas cookies to Kody last night. The horse stalls were outlined in lights and a lit-up Christmas tree stood in his apartment.  On this video you will see the pictures I took then and on Christmas day, photos I took from the computer of Kayla and Daniel's family, and one of Kody that appeared in the My Zeeland section of the Holland Sentinel (look closely at Joseph).  Enjoy!



Merry, Beautiful Christmas!

It is Christmas morning. I'm sitting alone in my living room by the soft light of the Christmas tree… beautiful. I glance around the quiet room and see each person’s face from the night before. I hear laughter as I remember my sister and brother and I reminiscing about our childhood, and Grandma defending herself. I recall thinking, “Mom, you are such a good sport, thank you for allowing us all to laugh together tonight, even if it is at your expense, it sounds so beautiful.”


A few days ago I went for a walk around our neighborhood after dark. It was very quiet and I could see snow softly floating through the light of the street lamps. I thought of my conversation with my sister on the phone that afternoon. Her voice was solemn as she told me about her family’s Christmas gathering, and how her glance around the room saw a missing child, and a son pale and tired from cancer treatments. The ache in my heart turned into words as I walked along in the snow, “He was only seven, Jesus…he was only seven.”

I felt Jesus weeping with me, His heart breaking too. I came to a bend in the sidewalk that wound along a small stream and under some  tall pine trees. It was dark for a second or two and that’s when I saw it. The moon was hazy, but it shone on the freshly fallen snow and everywhere I looked I saw tiny sparkles, like a zillion diamonds had spilled all over the ground! I stood still as the beauty of it seemed to wrestle with the darkness of my thoughts. Suddenly another thought burst through..."beauty wins!"  The horrible things of this life have been overcome by Jesus and in His time He will make everything beautiful...EVERYTHING.

Happy Anniversary!

Thirty two years ago today a winter storm threatened a young pastor named Steve Lorenz, as he battled his way across town to perform a wedding.  Jerry and I had met with him several times prior to, December 16, 1978, and he agreed to marry us, just not in his church.  I recall the reason being our confusion about Jesus, who he had tried so desparately to introduce to us.  But, there he was standing in my mom and dad's kitchen, brushing the snow from the shoulders of his long overcoat and carrying a Bible.  My dad had placed two neat rows of folding chairs in the living room and a beautifully decorated wedding cake sat on the kitchen table. 

Our families began to arrive as my sister, Sandy, and I giggled and chain-smoked (unfortunately) in the kitchen.  The guitarist arrived.  Jerry and I had chosen him on advise from Sandy, I think.  He sat on a folding chair by the front door and began to lightly strum his guitar and sing our songs.  First, the one Jerry had chosen for me, I Just Can't Help Believing, by BJ Thomas.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObJsdRFmeA0 .  Then my song to him, You Needed Me, by Anne Murray. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5HXGjgD06M.  They both sounded beautiful as the man's voice filled the house and our family took their seats.

Sandy stood next to me and Harry Padgett, Jerry's horse-back-riding buddy, stood next to him.  I wore a winter-white wool skirt and polyester blouse and Jerry wore a dark navy three-piece suit.  After our vows and a kiss we walked hand-in-hand to the kitchen while the guitarist sang, Follow Me, by John Denver http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc_LyxO3Ncg.  Our families gathered around us with lots of smiles and hugs.  Someone picked up Kody from the sitter's house and he joined the celebration, too.

Our reception was held at Jerry's riding club.  It was a very treacherous car ride but everyone arrived safely, and even the friends who were only invited to the reception braved the storm to congratulate us.  We danced to, You Look Wonderful Tonight, by Eric Clapton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC04ZZploBE. Jerry's record player supplied the music and I was the only DJ reliable enough to change the albums once in a while.

Much later that evening, after our reception, a Christmas candle table decoration that was left burning started a fire that consumed my wool skirt, a dresser, a wall in our mobile home, and Jerry's glasses.  My parents house became our refuge as we stood on their doorstep holding Kody, all of us covered in black soot.  However, the next day we took Kody to Aunt Jan's, called my brother to reconstruct our bedroom, and left for Boyne Highlands on a skiing honeymoon, where Jerry got the flu.

Our wedding day has been a source of a lot of laughter over the years, but both of us have always been dead serious about our marriage.  It is a priceless treasure, my marriage to you, Jerry.  I know how deeply you love me when you call from your car to tell me to quick look out the window because the sunrise is beautiful.  You know that I love sunrises...and you know that I LOVE YOU. 

Pastor Steve, we believe in Jesus now and you were right, faith in Him has made all the difference in our lives!  And, Kayla, I still have the polyester blouse.  XO

The Circle of Love

For the past two days I have been home with the flu.  So, since I'm not treasure hunting in second-hand stores for the lamps I need for our bedroom, or Christmas shopping at the mall, I have been spending some of my spare time listening to my thoughts.

This morning I reflected on a question Kody asked me last night. He had stopped by to unload our new stove from his truck.  Later, while enjoying a "Dad's Burrito" he asked, "Why do you still worry about us kids, Mom?  You should be enjoying yourself, these are your golden years."  I chuckled nervously and he kept looking at me like he was waiting for an answer.  I didn't have one then but today, after giving it some thought, I think I do.

Because I'm your mom.

A Giraffe in the Barnyard

Several days ago my niece, Abbey, and I spent the afternoon watching my two-year-old granddaughter, Sharlet, play with a toy barn and miniature farm animals.   Abbey commented that there was a giraffe in the barnyard.  We both chuckled and I thought out loud that Sharlet probably didn't realize that the giraffe, belonging to a circus-train toy, didn't belong there.  "It's adopted," I said.  "I'm adopted," Abbey quickly responded and I instantly felt shame having connected adoption with not appearing to belong.  I stumbled through an apology and she said I hadn't offended her. We changed the subject of conversation and that was that.  However, I have been asking myself some pretty deep questions since that day.  I will soon become a grandmother through adoption and I desire a heart-felt understanding of it.

Where does the longing to belong come from?  What makes the sensing of it happen or not?  Must we look alike or be from the same race or background to possess the feeling that we belong?

Maybe the longing is from God and only He can truly make us sense it.  I was adopted many years ago into God's family through His grace and His gift of faith in Jesus Christ.  I look like Him when I surrender my heart, humble my spirit, and replace the passion of my soul to belong to the masses of this world with a passion to look and feel like a giraffe in the barnyard as I journey through it.